Cheerful or Evil?: May 2009

May 28, 2009

[With Apologies to Sojourner Truth...]

That man over there says that queers are asking for special rights, more than what ever'body else got, and takin' the best places. Nobody ever gave me special rights, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a queer? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have Nautilused, and cardio'd, and Pilates and Yoga'd, and no trainer could stop me! And ain't I a queer? I could kvetch as much and cavil as much as a heterosexual - when I was in the zone - and get called "faggot" in the street as well! And ain't I a queer?

May 25, 2009

ON THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE EQUALITY: an open letter to my legislators

My name is Xandra. I moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota from New York in 1987. I met my partner, Judy, in St. Paul in 1990. I was twenty-nine and she was twenty-five. We moved in together in 1991. In 1997, we bought our first house. I was thirty-six, Judy was thirty-two. As we were preparing to close on it, Judy was diagnosed with cancer, and my father died unexpectedly. My mother died a year later. Judy’s father had a stroke in 2005, and my second-oldest sister died that year as well. I got cancer in 2007, which so far I have survived. I am now forty-seven years old, and Judy is forty-four.

We have also: spent time traveling to Mexico, Europe, and the Southwest, sung at the top of our lungs on road trips, gone to bed mad, woken up sorry, struggled to find meaningful work, gone to boring parties and fun ones, laughed and fought and made up, said things we regretted and said things we truly meant, and basically acted a lot like any other couple.

Unlike any other couple, we have not been able to secure our commitment to each other by marriage.

So, while we have coped with many of the usual challenges that people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s face, we have also coped with some devastating losses that have uncoupled more devoted couples than we. During these difficult times, we lacked the state support for our commitment that would have made facing those challenges a little easier.

For example, we would not have had to consciously ensure that should I die or become disabled, Judy would have the right to see me and to make medical decisions on my behalf. Of course, since Judy had cancer already, we had the required paperwork on hand. Thank our lucky stars we both got good educations and knew how to avail ourselves of legal resources that many gay and lesbian couples are not aware of.

It’s frightening, deeply frightening, to face death not knowing whether you will be dealing with medical personnel who might have a personal opinion about your choice of partner, and that their personal opinion could legally allow them to block your loved one from the recovery room.

I don’t know about you, but the last face I want to see before I die is not that of someone who wishes me ill, and who feels justified by their religious beliefs to deprive me of the material comfort and love of my partner. That’s something Judy and I have to think about, that many of you probably don't. We don’t have a choice about that.

Which brings me to my essential question: why is it okay for the state to treat us as though we were second-class citizens? Don’t we pay our taxes? Don’t I mow our lawn? I don't think, frankly, that it's any of your business what we do or don't do in our marital bed. I certainly don't go nosing into your marital bed: you can stay the heck outa mine, thank you very much.

I’m not going to go on and on about how deprived we are: we’re not. We have plenty to eat, plenty to do, we are not starving naked nor raving in the streets, nor are we being waterboarded, for which blessing I am thankful every day. But it does not logically follow that because we are not being tortured, that we are not being deprived of our civil rights. We are.

I have supported, and will continue to support, a wide variety of causes which I believe do good and help others to be heard. Now it’s my turn. Now I want support. I want to marry my partner, Judy, and I challenge you to provide me with a compelling, honest, constitutionally sound reason why I shouldn’t be allowed to.

Alexandra Coe, second-class citizen of the United States of America

May 16, 2009

Marriage Equality Minnesota

STAND FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY AT THE CAPITOL
Final Week Of Legislative Session
EXTENDED TO SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!

Let's leave legislators with a sense of momentum for Marriage Equality in this
final week of the legislative session.

Come for the last day of this final week to demand of lawmakers the same freedom to marry enjoyed by citizens of Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Maine. Our families
deserve nothing less!

Let us leave legislators with the sense of momentum for Marriage Equality that
is sweeping the country. In this final day of the legislative session, let's flood
the Capitol with lovers of freedom and equality! COME TO THE CAPITOL!

Meet on the second floor, near the entrance to the House of Representatives on
the north side of the rotunda. Bring signs if you can. Some signs will be
available. Thank you.

Let's keep marriage equality visible at the Capitol until the session ends on May
18.