Lake Calhoun, Xmas eve

Falling into decrepitude

There's always some area of the house that is falling into decrepitude, and at Christmastime I relish the prospect of digging into it and restoring order and cleanliness where there was dirt and disorder.

Once more, with feeling

Lake Calhoun, late afternoon.

Lake Harriet, morning

Lake Calhoun, early morning

Early morning, Lake Calhoun

near Lake Harriet, early morning

Lakewood Cemetery, Minneapolis

GOP contenders share vision for 2010: less government

Because they cannot govern, they want less government.

Here's a sneak preview of the GOP revision of the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Republicans are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Guns are instituted among Men, deriving their powers from the bullets in the chamber, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Republicans to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Is there a significant difference in meaning between these two sentences, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste" and "What a waste it is to lose one’s mind”? Think carefully: your answer will determine whether you are a Democrat or a Republican.

I am finding it difficult

I am finding it difficult to keep a civil tongue in my head these days. Thanks to the party of whiners and screamers and anti-anything positive or useful, the G.O.P., the Gross Old Pigs, the Greedy, Overbearing Panderers, the Ghastly Officious Preeners, the GodAwful Offputting Pricks, and their screeching, alcohol-and-drug-fueled standard-bearers, such reeking excrescences as Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. I cannot summon language that's powerful enough to reflect just how much I would like to wring their necks, personally, with every ounce of tennis-and-piano-and-drum-playing strength I could summon in my hands. It's hard enough to discuss difficult issues without having to deal with hysterical dimwits such as these. So, suffice it to say, I would not weep at news of their banishment to another planet, another solar system, best yet, a completely different galaxy.

Lake Calhoun, September 2009.

Men racing radio-controlled yachts on Lake Calhoun (2)

Men racing radio-controlled yachts on Lake Calhoun

August morning, Lake Calhoun

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How to Meditate

a nice and simple overview by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche.

Lake Harriet

Lake Calhoun

It's a cryin' shame...

Minneapolis is such a great city, with so much going for it. Why, oh why did we allow this monstrosity of an airport to eat up so much valuable land? Does anyone really think it appropriate, or patriotic, that our airport makes it impossible for any of the dead soldiers at Fort Snelling to rest in peace? The Tim Pawlentys and Michelle Bachmans of this state (oh-so-righteous, self-serving, selfish, and voraciously ambitious) won't rest until they've paved Paradise, and made our lovely chain-of-lakes into a massive airport parking ramp for the tourists heading for the Mall of America.

So please, folks (anyone out there?), when the issue of airport expansion comes up again (and it will, oh it will), don't let a bunch of fast-talking chamber-of-commerce boosters con us into allowing that to happen, again. Let's not make the same mistake we made twenty years ago. It's time to start talking about where to move the airport, or else we might as well dissolve the city council right now, fire the mayor and put the whole thing under the tender ministrations of the Metropolitan Airport Commission, who no doubt have our best interests at heart anyway. Don't they?

Nothing's wrong

Nothing's wrong with anyone's mind that can't be fixed by a rigorous application of logic. Teach logic and rhetoric, teach kids to THINK, and they will learn how to tell good facts from bad facts, how to analyze statistics, and most important, they will remember that it's FUN to think. Everyone has a mind to which they owe respect and which they ought to nurture with care. So taught Carol Bly, and so say I.

Speaking of "the rule of law"...

Vice President Cheney's complete and utter disregard for the rule of law needs to be thoroughly, publicly examined. The truth must come out, so that we as a country can understand what happened to us under the Bush Regime, and ensure that such flagrant abuse of power does not happen again in our lifetimes.4

Why Corporations are Stupid and Deserve to Die

Dear Restoration Hardware: I do understand that you cannot find it in your tiny little soul (if a corporation can be said to have a soul, which is doubtful) to work with me on a deal to exchange the couch I bought from you because I ordered the wrong color. Yes, I know: times are tough. I made the mistake, not you. Yes, you have your rules. Yes, I understand. You can't give even an inch on your principles, not a sou, not a penny.

I also have rules. One of my rules is that I don’t continue to patronize stores that refuse to work with me to make me happy when I make a mistake in a purchase that I freely own up to, and when I call and pleasantly discuss the options with you WITHOUT pitching a nasty fit on the phone. Which I could do. And have done before, with success. But I don’t want to harass anyone. I want to be pleasant, and reasonable. I want to catch flies with honey, not vinegar. So the fact that you apparently mistook my calm, polite, and reasonable manner for lack of spine was a mistake on your part.

It was a mistake, because what you apparently didn’t realize when I spoke to one of your representatives on the phone about this, is that I like to buy furniture. And I like Restoration Hardware’s furniture. And have bought a fair amount of it over the years. But when you make it so very clear to me that you value your corporate rules more than you value your relationship with me, a loyal and frequent customer, then I have to re-evaluate my relationship with you. And make some hard decisions.

Like, you are off my vendor list. For good. I don’t do business with people who don’t negotiate.

And I’m going to blog about this, and Facebook about this, and Twitter about this, to get the word out about how Restoration Hardware values (or fails to value) loyal customers. Given that Smith and Hawken is shutting down most of their stores, and retail in general isn’t doing so well, I think you might want to re-think your corporate policy on exchanges, and your very ill-thought-out corporate policy on how to handle nice, loyal customers.

Because you just lost one.

It's Official : the Pope IS the Antichrist

courtesy of the Mpls Star Tribune, 7.7.2009

Quit smoking, you idiots!

My dear friend Matt just reminded me of something: Quit smoking! All you smokers out there, listen up: quit being selfish and stupid and bull-headed. Quit smoking, and you will miraculously discover that half your crabbiness will just disappear, thus half your unpleasant and selfish behavior will also disappear. Magically. You will stop offending everyone you know with the stench you carry around with you like a dark cloud. You will be able to stop cravenly seeking solitude in order to indulge your habit. You will be able to walk amongst women and men again with your head held high. If you're lucky enough to be a woman, and go into menopause, then you will get all your crabbiness back, and more, so don't worry about becoming all soft and nice.

I don't feel at all soft, or nice, but I am glad, glad, glad that I quit smoking and I will do my best to piss off all the idiots who are still smoking. I hope I piss you all off enough that any smoker who reads this will quit smoking just to spite me.

Consider this a white glove, thrown down on the ground in front of you, smokers. And yes, I'm talking to you fancy Europeans too: just because you have an ancient civilization and us Americans are just adolescents, doesn't mean you're right about everything. And you are wrong, wrong, wrong about smoking.

NEWS FLASH: God hates figs

Attention : Members of the Westboro Church... God doesn't hate "fags" as you all so charmingly put it. Turns out that was actually a typo. The real enemy to establishing God's kingdom on Earth is figs. That's right. Figs. God hates figs. So you all can drop the hating on homosexuals now.

(image and sentiments courtesy of Dale Rawlings)

OPEN LETTER TO TIVO, upon receiving a dunning notice in email

Dear Tivo:

I don't care if you turn the service off: I haven't activated it yet. If you fixed your website so that I could give you a new credit card number that would be nice, but you haven't bothered to do that.

I don't care if you're having technical difficulties: guess what? I'm having technical difficulties too.

As for your early termination fee: are you threatening me? I've been with Tivo since day one, and the way you show your gratitude for my loyalty is to have a bot send me mobster-style pseudo-friendly emails threatening fees and collection agencies. Can you spell "passive-aggressive?"

There's nothing worse, IMHO, than a passive-aggressive computer. Didn't you people see 2001 for God's Sake?

If I were a little crabbier I'd pack up all three of my Tivos and send them back to you in pieces. Comcast has a nice DVR service, I hear. Or DirectTV.

Maybe I'll decide to pay you. Maybe I won't. Feel free to send my account to a collection agency. I don't mind. I'd relish the chance to mix it up with a snotty little collection agency. I wouldn't bet on them if I were you.

Sincerely,

One pissed-off menopausal customer who's old enough to be your mother

email never sent...

Dear Airline Complaint Person:


I would like to register a general complaint for the past week: yes, I could sit at my computer and file complaint after complaint every minute for the maddening frequency and closeness of the airplanes this past week, yes, yes I understand that the weather patterns mean that the planes have to come in lower and yes yes yes I do understand that there’s just NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO about this, yes I get that everyone is doing everything they can the ameliorate the problem ma’am yes, yes, yes, I do GET THAT.


And I get that you would prefer if I would just complain on the complaint line like I’m supposed to.


Well, I don’t prefer to do that. I don’t want to do it your way.


I want to do it my way. And this is my way.


Don’t bother to reply with some formulaic crap: I’ve written more formulaic crap in my life than you’ve probably ever imagined, young man or woman, whoever you are, poor faceless drone, no I don’t really mean that no I don’t but yes I do yes yes yes I do.


So there.


Thank you for listening. No I don’t need help. Yes I’ve taken my medication. No I don’t need help. No I’m not going to harm myself or others. Promise.


Most sincerely, with most gracious gratitude for your kind attention, I remain,


Xandra Coe

Annoyed Citizen

Truth will out.

Denialism + Extremism = Exterminationalism + Political Power (Control of the Military) = Genocide/Mass Murder

Sunrise, Lake Calhoun

Ask, and Tell.

[With Apologies to Sojourner Truth...]

That man over there says that queers are asking for special rights, more than what ever'body else got, and takin' the best places. Nobody ever gave me special rights, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a queer? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have Nautilused, and cardio'd, and Pilates and Yoga'd, and no trainer could stop me! And ain't I a queer? I could kvetch as much and cavil as much as a heterosexual - when I was in the zone - and get called "faggot" in the street as well! And ain't I a queer?

ON THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE EQUALITY: an open letter to my legislators

My name is Xandra. I moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota from New York in 1987. I met my partner, Judy, in St. Paul in 1990. I was twenty-nine and she was twenty-five. We moved in together in 1991. In 1997, we bought our first house. I was thirty-six, Judy was thirty-two. As we were preparing to close on it, Judy was diagnosed with cancer, and my father died unexpectedly. My mother died a year later. Judy’s father had a stroke in 2005, and my second-oldest sister died that year as well. I got cancer in 2007, which so far I have survived. I am now forty-seven years old, and Judy is forty-four.

We have also: spent time traveling to Mexico, Europe, and the Southwest, sung at the top of our lungs on road trips, gone to bed mad, woken up sorry, struggled to find meaningful work, gone to boring parties and fun ones, laughed and fought and made up, said things we regretted and said things we truly meant, and basically acted a lot like any other couple.

Unlike any other couple, we have not been able to secure our commitment to each other by marriage.

So, while we have coped with many of the usual challenges that people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s face, we have also coped with some devastating losses that have uncoupled more devoted couples than we. During these difficult times, we lacked the state support for our commitment that would have made facing those challenges a little easier.

For example, we would not have had to consciously ensure that should I die or become disabled, Judy would have the right to see me and to make medical decisions on my behalf. Of course, since Judy had cancer already, we had the required paperwork on hand. Thank our lucky stars we both got good educations and knew how to avail ourselves of legal resources that many gay and lesbian couples are not aware of.

It’s frightening, deeply frightening, to face death not knowing whether you will be dealing with medical personnel who might have a personal opinion about your choice of partner, and that their personal opinion could legally allow them to block your loved one from the recovery room.

I don’t know about you, but the last face I want to see before I die is not that of someone who wishes me ill, and who feels justified by their religious beliefs to deprive me of the material comfort and love of my partner. That’s something Judy and I have to think about, that many of you probably don't. We don’t have a choice about that.

Which brings me to my essential question: why is it okay for the state to treat us as though we were second-class citizens? Don’t we pay our taxes? Don’t I mow our lawn? I don't think, frankly, that it's any of your business what we do or don't do in our marital bed. I certainly don't go nosing into your marital bed: you can stay the heck outa mine, thank you very much.

I’m not going to go on and on about how deprived we are: we’re not. We have plenty to eat, plenty to do, we are not starving naked nor raving in the streets, nor are we being waterboarded, for which blessing I am thankful every day. But it does not logically follow that because we are not being tortured, that we are not being deprived of our civil rights. We are.

I have supported, and will continue to support, a wide variety of causes which I believe do good and help others to be heard. Now it’s my turn. Now I want support. I want to marry my partner, Judy, and I challenge you to provide me with a compelling, honest, constitutionally sound reason why I shouldn’t be allowed to.

Alexandra Coe, second-class citizen of the United States of America

New Motto: Ask, and Tell.

Lake Calhoun, Minneapolis, evening

May 17, 2009 - Lake Calhoun

Marriage Equality Minnesota

Marriage Equality Minnesota

STAND FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY AT THE CAPITOL
Final Week Of Legislative Session
EXTENDED TO SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!

Let's leave legislators with a sense of momentum for Marriage Equality in this
final week of the legislative session.

Come for the last day of this final week to demand of lawmakers the same freedom to marry enjoyed by citizens of Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Maine. Our families
deserve nothing less!

Let us leave legislators with the sense of momentum for Marriage Equality that
is sweeping the country. In this final day of the legislative session, let's flood
the Capitol with lovers of freedom and equality! COME TO THE CAPITOL!

Meet on the second floor, near the entrance to the House of Representatives on
the north side of the rotunda. Bring signs if you can. Some signs will be
available. Thank you.

Let's keep marriage equality visible at the Capitol until the session ends on May
18.

May 12, 2009, Lake Calhoun

walker on Lake Calhoun, May 2009

May 10, 2009, near Lake Calhoun

Runner by the lake

Sargent crabs about to burst, Lake Harriet Rose Garden

Storm clouds over Lake Calhoun 3

Storm clouds over Lake Calhoun 2

Storm clouds over Lake Calhoun 1

Early morning jogger

Woman in Red, Lake Harriet

Gnarled tree, Lake Calhoun

April 26, 2009

April 22, 2009